Yes, I rhymed my title. Sorry.
I must begin by establishing my authority as an Ohio native. Eighteen years, born and raised in the state that claims to have “so much to discover.” Growing up, I thought we were still awaiting discovery because nothing interesting ever happens in Ohio.
Until now. Now our day has come. Media coverage around the world.
Why? Because some crazy guy didn’t shut a gate. A gate that enclosed 56 exotic animals, including lions and tigers and bears.
Oh my.
Schools closed, people locked themselves in their houses. Authorities began the roundup with ineffective tranquilizers, and (after being charged by a “tranquilized” tiger) ended up killing 49.
"We all love our animal world. And we love the people world, too. People's safety is first, and then we have animals to protect," said Jack Hanna, who apparently still values human life over animal.
But animal rights activists lunged at him like a bunch of tranquilized tigers.
Poor Jack. I learned stuff from him. I remember watching him on Saturday morning telivision and hoping to catch a glimpse of him when my family visited the Columbus Zoo (we were gold members, of course.) He’s basically famous because he loves animals. Now he’s criticized because he loves people, too.
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